shagged from gymming.

finally, i just successfully applied for relief-teaching..zzz..even b4 leo was enlisted, i'd alrd tried applying for it..watever the prob, heck la..hmm..seriously can't get a proper admin job at this moment..the economy is really damn bad..zzz..if not, it cud be tt i'm too ugly..watever..zzz..haix..really getting very annoyed of being unemployed alrd..the feeling of having an empty wallet is terrible..having to rely on leo for my dates with him is also making me feel useless and weak..he always insists tt it's ok it's ok, but it's absolutely not ok for me..haix..how i wish i'm from an ultra rich family..sigh..i vow to break out of this poverty cycle!

this morning i just went back ac to gym with yip..ran 3.2km and did 5sets times 12 of the abs machine..hopefully my tummy goes away real soon..i really wonder how yip has the self-discipline to travel all the way back to school to gym like 3-4 times a week..admire his tenacity these several weeks..xD..will look up to him n ask him motivate me!!haha..went astons@je after gyming..the chargrill chicken and butter baked potato are damn nice man..always so tempting..leo was asking wat's the point of gyming in the morning when i have a heavy lunch after gyming..lol..watever it is, i just feel accomplished and enjoy my meal b4 i start working full time next year..

went ridgewood to play mahjong with weicheng, raymond and chunyi..started the mahjong games at 2pm after my tuition with cheepeng and chianyee..played 3 games until 11.30..won abt 4bucks overall in 3 games..lost like mad for the first 2 games..weicheng was bloody on fire la..while he kept winning, the 3 of us were constantly reminding him to watch for cars whenever he crosses the road..i always have this belief, good luck is always exchanged for bad karma..i experience it all the time..chunyi was super unlucky ytd..he was the only one who lost to the rest of us..he was rather laid back at first in the first game but became more aware tt he needed to play seriously after losing every single game in the earlier part of the session..raymond is another funny guy..leo kept telling me tt raymond's a nice guy..din't expect this nice guy to be almost as 'tall' as me tho..lol!hope he doesn't come across my blog anytime..xP..altho it was the first time i met and played mahjong with these 2 guys, we got along quite well and could joke and tease one another as if we've known everyone for some tym..haha..i'm feeling more and more manly..really shouldn't always mix with guys so often..zzz..

hmm..can't wait for tmr to come..shifted my tuition to sunday morning so as to be able to fetch leo at pasir ris tmr again..it's the last day of 2008..which means my 19th birthday is coming real soon..haix..every year i've been dreading this day..just very reluctant to lift the increasingly heavy responsibility tt i have resting on my shoulders..sigh..

on the other hand, after much tots, by right.....

i should learn to accept and face challenges of reality if i wanna grow stronger..mentally and spiritually..dreading birthdays every year is not the way to be alrd..this can't go on..seriously..it's time to change for a better attitude and mentality..i'm gng to be an adult in about 2-3 years..tt's really fast..zzz..

wat's this..it's self-psyco-ing..lol..

yea..must keep reminding myself to adopt a stronger n better attitude in facing watever tt comes in the future..hmm..no matter wat, i'm sure life for me will never hit the lowest again..i'm now blessed with an angel..who's serving ns currently..has a super round and nice to touch botakhead..equipped with 'wings' and extremely kiss-able lips..mushy mushy!..xDD..being mushy is fun..love you forever laogong..

MWACKX!!

gonna take a nap now...

tmr will be a better day..

aimless.soul-less.

went br place for 4g xmas gathering on 26th..altho anything we could do there was limited, all of us enjoyed the gathering..it was heartwarming..xD..really miss the 4G ppl lots..think they're the best group of friends in the world man..played devil's deck twice..really hated the greentea-vodka man..xb suck..disgusting..but overall i'm sure everyone enjoyed ourselves..cal was telling us his story of gng to the house of his super rich baller friend..it really awed everyone of us man..seriously i can never imagine myself living in tt kinda house..zzz..watever..embrace simplicity..

after the 'story-telling session', we went on to talk about our future, gossips and random stuff..it just feels extremely comfortable and different to be with this group of friends..xD..after which, we went upstairs to play cards and mahjong..tagged with wanyi..broke even in the end..din't win din't lose..was really stunned by my luck for daidi man..could win for over 10 times consecutively..really afraid tt bad karma wud fall upon me..but fortunately we din't place any bet on daidi..if not i'll be very sure tt i'll kena bad karma..lol..din't sleep for the entire night..the worse thing is i still gotta honour my words to fetch leo from pasir ris..was seriously super tired alrd..at first told leo at about 5am tt i'd not be gng to meet him due to the bad headache frm not slping..in the end i still turned up..just feel like making him feel welcomed and happier once he touched down in singapore from tekong..wat a wonderful girlfriend yea..love you baby..xD

on 27th, after fetching leo from pasir ris, we went home to rest b4 gng out to meet mohan&niyoh..double-date again..initially we wanted to catch 'bedtime stories' but ps gv and cathay was super crowded..zzz..wat to do..no choice since they only book out on weekends..zzz..leo n mohan wanted to watch ip man so much tho..hmmm..but i'm really not into watching violent shows..see how sia..4 of us, starving badly, den went to 'mian mian ju dao' at the cathay for dinner as the queue outside astons was ridiculously long..but din't regret gng to tt noodle restaurant tho..xD..the xiaolongbao, la mian and toufu were extremely delicious..xD..the only regret tt i have is for burning leo's wallet..haix..feel bad..really gotta treat him back when i start working officially..went pooling after dnr..leo had 100% winnings ytd night..20%luck, 80%skills..xD..really aspire to be a really good pool player in the near future..xD..

balled today with leo n his neighbours..got laoda, doug, quish, jack and the both of us..my shooting at the first half of the games were like 80% accurate..after my energy was drained in the later part, my shooting accuracy fell to 30%..lol..wat a great drop..altho it was slack playing with this group of ppl, it was fun..i could tell tt leo was getting emo at 5pm when we were supposed to leave to prep for booking in today alrd..i can't really understand tt feeling of 'sianx' but yea i know it's sianx having to book in and book out at such a far place..cux it's equally, if not slightly less, sianx for me..all the best baby..i'm always supporting you..mwackx..

my plan for these 2 days when leo's not around is to give tuition, mahjong and gym..seriously cannot stand this increasingly wobbly layer..haix..wat happens to my vow to myself to work towards a pretty figure..zzz..jiayou ziwei!

my sis is irritating me like mad..gotta sign off..

love you forever baby..mwackx..

satisfied.love u baby.xD

went out early to fetch leo out at pasir ris on xmas eve morning..tho e trip was a dreadful 1 hour journey from jurong to pasir ris, i was super excited about meeting my baby after 2 weeks without seeing him at all!xD..

the moment i saw him, i felt really surprised..i was suddenly overwhelmed by the reality tt i'm dating an NS man..he looks so different..slightly bigger biceps, slightly tougher abs, super round botak head, smart-looking green no4 outfit..looks like an ah beng actually when he's not in the no. 4 uniform..lol..he gave me a feeling tt i'm dating an adult..(tho in fact  it was only a false feeling)my reluctance to grow older will always be cruelly stepped under the feet of reality..well, growing up not entirely a bad thing actually..he actually gives me a stronger sense of security..xD..kept telling me he'll takkare of me..xD..xingfu!haha..

tt night we went to kajiao doug at work..doug was super stunned when he saw me in dress..lol..i've always been in the same shirt-and-fbt dress code when i ball at ridgewood..haha..

tho i'm manly, i've my demure side k..xP..after which, we went double-dating with mohan&niyoh..mohan's leo's new best bro in ns..they can really clique v well..i've never seen leo laugh so often b4..mohan n leo could laugh at anything at any moment..it's rare to find such buddy..lucky leo..xD..niyoh's a pleasant and friendly ger too..hopefully the 4 of us can be better friends in the future..stayed out the whole night at downtown east..went to pool, watched twilight, den slacked all night out joking, laughing and chatting..it's my first time ton-ing..frankly, it was quite disastrous..super tiring..even more so for mohan n leo who woke up at 5+ tt day b4 booking out..

spent x'mas at leo's place..watched some dumb dvd n used the com..went jelita too..leo also bought me our 8th mth anniversary present..like it alot..xD..mwacks baby..tho it's not like any typical xmas with xmas tree, scrumptious turkey meal or receiving lots of presents, i enjoyed this xmas alot..anywhere is comfortable with leo's presence..i'm starting to find myself a lil quite mushy alrd..watever..i enjoyed today's x'mas in simplicity..xD

can't wait for sat to come..he's gonna book out again in the afternoon..xD..

tmr gotta give tuition at 10.30 at clementi area..den gotta go br's house for 4g x'mas party/gathering..xD

miss you guys..xD

cash getting tighter alrd..sianx..hope i get a proper job soon..

~get well soon baby..loves..happy early 8th month anniversary!Today's special..mwacks!~

bball rox!!

went balling at ulu pandan cc just now with weicheng and louis..really haven't exercised for damn long alrd..my shooting accuracy has fallen abit..but overall i managed to make quite a handful of successful shots for my team..xD..also managed to defend an accurate 3-point shooter rather well, such tt he missed almost all the shots..my defence has always been my most suckish bball skill..will continue to improve la..

there were 2 16/17-year-old bball national team players according to one of my teammates..one of them was damn vulgar with diction of cockiness..very noisy and sorta irritating..the other one was a showoff man..monkeying around at the bball rim..kept doing pushups too..dunno wat the hell for..

feel so weird without leo's presence while balling..he was complaining sianx when i told him about how zai those ulu pandan cc ppl were..can tell how much he miss balling(with me.xD) getting to stare at tekong's bball courts but couldn't utilise them..will be going down to upcc again next sat..tho weicheng can't make it, i hope it'll be equally fun, if not more fun, with my baby around..xD..

douglas: you should start balling again..if not the next time you ball with us your tummy would be overflowing..xP

chris should stop daoing and join us again la..zzz..

by right we should be mj-ing tmr..but suddenly mummy wants me to accompany my siblings and her to paya lebar to collect some free stuff..hmm..so why not..in the afternoon my cousins will be coming over..miss my baby COUSIN(leo, note the pronunciation..) so much..she has grown so much man..noti, but very fun to play with..envious that she can stay so carefree and stressless..zzz..

haven't confirmed a stable job yet..haix..waiting for reply to confirm tt full time admin position at buona vista..zzz..hmm..needa sleep early today..shall put aside all my worries aside first..good night..

~~get well soon baby..~ 

sianx.waiting.

i just had my first tuition session with my 2 new tutees today..frankly i tot the payout is quite low..but i'll just try my best to pull their grades up no matter wat..very sianx leh..i want to settle my job stability first to ensure a more stable income..i've sent quite alot of resumes waiting for those employers' replies but the result is quite bad..haix..needa go down to recruitexpress to seek for a part time temporary job..

zzz..starving now..

i've decided to work as a full time tutor for the time being and work part time in the day when my kids are in school in the mornings and afternoons..so sianx..can't seem to find any job yet..really can't wait to settle these irritating stuff..wanna get on with life..now the employment issue keeps bugging me sub-consciously..very sianx..haix..

can't wait for next wed to come..it's xmas eve..leo'll be booking out in the afternoon!!woots..xD..he called me ytd night to tell me tt he's sick, got flu, runny nose, sore throat and cough..poor boy..wanna sayang and takkare of him there at tekong..but tt's not possible yea..but was damn stunned when he told me just now tt he was doing self-training out of his own accord..i was in total disbelief and he was laughing at tt..really very shocked..cux tt lazy fat dear of mine didn't take any initiative at all to do any physical stuff when he was at home..he probably finally realised tt he gotta train up his little mice on his arms..xP..lol..wonder wat he'll do to me when he reads this..lol..

my next week's schedule will be quite packed..mon-interview in the afternoon at recruitexpress; tue-tuition for all 3 tutees starting from afternoon up till night; wed-afternoon out to fetch darling at pasir ris den DATE!; Xmas-whole day out with leo and family; friday-morning tuition for cheepeng and chianyee; sat and sun- ball and date..xD

tired gonna have supper and sleep early..can't always wake up at 12pm every noon..haha..

~~baby, i miss you..~~

disappointed.but strong

i just lost my part time telemarketing job at prudential ytd after i returned from genting..lots of 'sianx' coming out from me to anyone i'm talking to now..haix..they din't really tell me the real reasons tho..probably my performance is too lousy, such that they found a telemarketer..if not it could be that they're also in a financial crisis now..no matter wat, i'll continue to stay strong and keep looking for another full time admin job..jiayou ziwei!!xD

just returned from genting ytd..took alot of photos there..enjoyed the whole trip overall..just can't tahan the super long bus trip..zzz..we reached genting at abt 12 after setting off at 5+am in the morn..lunched at pizza hut..went for dnr at some high class seafood restaurant called lakeview seafood restaurant..the food there was really really GOOD!very irresistible..couldn't stop eating..heard my uncle mentioned that the live prawns were thrown into a pot which contains a burning hot rock..those prawns were then burnt to cooked..really fresh and super juicy..yum yum!!xD..

after dnr, my parents tried to smuggle me into the casino but failed..my uncle analysed that it's cux i din't have any wrinkles at all..lol..which is a gd thing actually..i'll bring my family to genting again after i've earned enuf $$..i'd be abt 21 by then i guess..maybe can go with leo's family too..lol..xD..on the first night, we went to watch 'Dreamz' the magic show after shopping around..the show was extravagantly cool..super cool!!!it was the first time i ever watched anything so stunning!after the 2hr show, we took photos with the live white lion and tiger..jun accidentally fell off the damn high step just beside the white tiger..it was lucky of him that he din't fall onto the tiger..he was such a brave boy..i knew it hurts alot for him..tears were alrd at the rim of his eyes, yet he held them back and smiled at the camera..wat a close shave..i love my cute noti jun..xD

on the second day..we woke up at abt 10am and went for brunch at KFC..the cheese wedges were damn tasty..xD..haix..actually feel guilty for eating so much..gotta exercise and ball to get rid of the increasingly-wobbly layer..zzz..lol..after brunch, we went outdoors to the theme park..took the cork-screw ride, pirate ship, chair-chair ride and so on..too bad din't have the time to take the flying coaster and the courage to take the rocket-shot ride..overall did enjoy ourselves..xD..it was also the first time jun took such scary rides..he was brave..xD..yet, the queueing part was dreadful..zzz..tt night we went to a cantonese restaurant for dnr after shopping awhile..another guilty day of eating too much..lol..for supper, my grandma bought sausage prata from 'gogo cafe' for us..i fell in love with it at first bite..lol..crunchy and delicious!!must learn how to make it..xD..

on the last day morning, our uncle brought us to tt seafood restaurant for dimsum breakfast..extremely filling..lol..spent so much money on food..really really desperate to exercise to slim down again..lol..we bought the coach at 2pm and reached back at 8pm..ate so much junk food on the coach to pass my time la..haix..guilt..lol..miss genting's cold weather alot..coming back to singapore from holiday means we gotta come back to reality again, facing my probs of expenditure, unemployment and bf-sickness..watever it is, i gotta stay independent and strong and await xmas eve to come!!xD..really can't wait for xmas to come..can't wait to see my botak lil fat boy..xD..

was chatting with weicheng and kelvin abt balling and getting employed..lol..realised tt kel's not dao afterall..kel also mentioned tt he missed leo..haha..btw i got 2 tutees today at gumtree.sg..but i'm still considering to abandon them and go for full time temporary admin/secretarial job..stay strong ziwei!!

~~miss you baby..~~

jun and i..xD

li and i..xD

preeeties..xD

on the dreadful bus

all the kids..xD

tired.can't slp.

it's a tiring day..went shopping with mei&di..

started off shopping from angmokio to get li's jacket, orchard to get my heels, bugis to get some tops and finally jp to get jun's deathnote keychain(which he insisted to get by today)..

i got my first pair of heels and i think it's super pretty..xD..seriously, i haven't worn heels out b4 so i wonder if i'll survive my first time wearing it without falling..lol..leo nv fails to laugh at me for being 'imba'..xD..miss him..lots.....

this morn my darling msg'd me at 5am n told me tt one of his bunkmate just had a breakup with gf..it's only the 2nd day of enlistment, it must be hard on him..den when leo finally reverts at night after over 12hrs of not contacting at all, he sent me a msg which i sensed anxiety n worry..lol..i know it's only the second day of enlistment n tt things in the future are unpredictable, but i'm just confident of our relationship..given the strong foundation and how well our characters match..it's just like leo and i are one..xD..i'll wait for you no matter wat..xD..i love you baby..xD

hmm..i'm supposed to be aslp by now cux i gotta wake up at 4.30 later to prepare for the genting trip..still bf-sick actually..lol..oh ya, btw i had many dreams ytd night, leo's involved in every one of them..really bf-sick..but getting on with life well..just can't wait for xmas eve to come..xD..

bored.very.

haix..wat's with starting this blog with a ' haix'.

it simply describes how i feel now..lonely, bf-sick, unmotivated, bored... ...

it has been only 1 day since leonard entered ns, therefore i've obviously started blogging simply to pass my time.

the farewell on 11dec at tekong was so rushed tt i had so much tears but there was just no time for me to cry. i miss leonard so much. haix. can't wait for x'mas to come, abt 11 more days. he'd be able to book out alrd.

ytd night i felt so down tt i need to get out of the house to fill up the emptiness i was overwhelmed with even tho it was alrd 11+ at night. lucky tt i've got frenx who're on enuf to go out for supper. wk offered to drive xiuru n i home after much pestering from us. we had prata at bt timah. tho the serving was small, we enjoyed each others' company with jokes, gossips and randomness..

today these on ppl came over to my place for mahjong session. and WOOTS i won over 20bucks after 2 full games. it's quite a rare thing for me to win so much tho the bid was small. cal&jw lost abt 15 while xr lost 18. wk won too but ultimately i was the biggest winner. xD. 

thus, i did manage to distract myself from missing leo for awhile tho he filled up the entire capacity of my mind in btwn slots of breaks. 

guess i was too reliant on him when he was around by my side. ziwei!i know you can move on with life well soon!!xD

will be going genting this coming sunday alrd. still haven't packed my luggage. hmmm. quite dread the long n dizzy bus journey to genting. confirm will miss leo more. cux cudn't send him sms for tt few days to motivate and encourage him. but yea, more distractions to pass my time.

was so bored tt i was looking for all the sites of tuition agencies to sign up as a tutor. wanna earn more money. to pay off my own debts, to support my own expenditure too. sianx. how i wish money really falls from the sky. haha. diaoz. gonna miss working tgt with leo as telemarketer at prudential. giving calls in the empty cold office for 5hrs straight is really un-tahan-able.. sianx.