contented..improvement..maturing..

went for movie with leo today..

confession of a shopaholic really nice man!

got a present for my tutee

for earning 10stars for doing well

in e test pps i gave her..

still wondering wat to get for xw..

will be out for date with 4g girlfriends

on wed aprils fool..

anw today's ad1 gathering failed again..

should have expected..

the whole class is like a mess of sand..

and i'm so totally detached from it..

would prefer the first 3 month 1ad1 in 2007..

haix..miss them..

aveil, karina, zu'er?, junyang, mao..

at least there are more high ppl..

but too bad..this is reality..

went for senior-junior uni networking sesssion

at clarke quay ytd..

only reached home abt 12..

i felt lonely at first..

tessa couldn't come with me..x(

but i actually gained alot from it..

as in the experience, information and new friends made..

huili and jitsy..chiyu, jessica and yuting..

talked the most to huili..

she's 24, yet she gives ppl a v young feeling..xD..

she looked super extrovert but she confessed tt she's intro..

haha..she couldn't believe tt i'm a super extrovert tho..

haha..interesting senior..xD..

jitsy looks quite quiet..

but she's very caring and warm..xD..

a year 4 psychology senior..

she was touched by my reason for wanting to enter psyc

and really hope to get my good news..

the other 3 are freshmen who accompanied

the supposedly lonely ger..

very cute group of gers..lol..

hope tt jessica entered nus fass too..

den maybe we could be gd friends..

haha..realised tt she's rather extroverted tho..xD..

i really would like to thank

minghan & huimin for taking care of me ytd..

it was seniors who can help me most tho..

minghan also told me smth

which urged me to put on my thinking cap..

he told me,

besides worring abt ur bf, think abt wat u want in life..

hmm..this is smth which i know yet unsure..

i wanna study hard in uni,

do well in exams

and hopefully can get scholarship to go overseas to study masters..

really wanna become a clinical psychologist to help ppl..

psychology is not my first choice but my only choice..

the story behind is actually the two clinical cases at home..

it totally hurts to see ur loved ones suffer from stress,

yet u dunno how to help..

i want to help ppl..

and allow the loved ones to be freed from such excruciating pain..

not really physical but emotional,

which is many times more painful..

heartache..i experienced it many many times..

guess everyone does..

other than career,

i wanna start a family w leo

only aft i've earned and saved a decent amount of money

with surplus..

i don't want my kids to suffer financially like me..

will not spoil them tho..

want them to learn from experience, pain and mature..

these are wat tt spur me to be a strong ger..

tho emo, i believe i'm quite and independent

strong minded ger..xD..

tt's the reason why my bros call me manly..

haha..

nxt, baby i wanna let u know tt

you're too important to me also..

no matter wat happens, happy or sad,

do just come to me and vent all ur emotions..

not anger but either happiness or sorrow..

for shared happiness is double joy, and

while shared sadness is half the sorrow..

disclose everything to me..

just like i've told u every single part of my mind..

cliche here, but you're truly nvr alone..

anywhere you may be, i'm there..always there..

love you forever..

mwackx..~~xD

being alone..not really..xD

Today is our 11th month anniversary..

wow..it's gonna be a year alrd..

can't really believe that

i've been tgt with this guy

whom i disliked so extremely in sec sch..

well, it's fate man..xD..

so xingfu..leo's love is so strong..

love you so much baby..xD..

leo has entered ocs for 4 days alrd..

mentioned tt his activities are very packed..

we hardly have any time to talk..

but i can still feel how strong our love is..xD..

e depth is really indescribable..

i've also resume back to work

after taking the umpteen days of leaves..=X

haven't got the boredom to blog

as leo had been out from bmt for 2 weeks..

enjoyed myself super much

with his company and warmth

so overwhelming in my heart..xD..

gone back to work for 4 days alrd..

the word to describe is

"refreshed" or "motivated"..xD

i've been bringing this high and positive attitude to work..

it feels really good..

although i've been slping late at night,

i still appear to be chatty and fun-loving, yet serious at work..

i think my colleagues do like me..

yay..xD..

getting used to not having leo by my side physically..

tho he owns every bit of my heart..

very highly-motivated to earn as much money as possible..

starting to clear my debts..

jiayou ziwei!!enjoy life..haha..

oh yea..baby mentioned to me today

tt he may be signing on for airforce..

means he may be coming out

for university admission just 1yr ltr den me

after ocs graduation!xD..

will have 6yrbond and many overseas trips tho..

nvm it's gonna be for our perfect future man..xD..

haven't confirm tho..wait for more news tmr..

also have been catching jiamin's songs

every episode of css3..

sure she'll clinch the champion..xD..

all my support for our future star!xD..

just finished reading lowkayhwa's book,

'to forget you'..

it's really extremely touching..

i cried at the last chapter..

e ending is unexpected and saddening..

will be getting his other books soon

when i've got more disposable cash..sigh..

kilo is getting older but still super cute..

haven't got the time for him

cuz gotta settle uni admission stuff..

for leo and myself..

for the past 2 weeks,

instead of blogging,

i'd been gng out with leo and family..

his mum brought us and his grandparents

out for buffet lunch at some high-class restaurants..

i nearly ate until i BAOZHA!

haha..xD..enjoyed lunch and company..

aft tt sumptious lunch,

we proceeded home and went out again for dnr with his dad..

it was at MANHATTAN FISHMARKET!

xD..enjoyed dnr too..

but couldn't finish the food cuz of the heavy lunch..

felt bad spending so much of his dad's money..

lol..his dad has mouth tt looks like leo's..

and leo actually looks so tiny beside his dad..

they're a tall family..lol..

first impression i have on his dad is

cool dad..and v supportive..xD..

leo's lucky to have everything..

especially me!xD..

(baby, you're supposed to get used to this..xP)

ok tmr gng for uni networking session with minghan..

hopefully i won't feel weird being there alone..

wanna know more friends..

i assume ppl who'll turn up for such event

are as extrovert as me..xD..

ziwei!enjoy work!

look forward to our 1st official anniversary, 26-04-09..<3..

~why are you so cute, baby?!mwackx!!~

I'm 52% boyish?!..lol..

MY BOY SIDE

[X] you love hoodies
[X] you love jeans
[X] dogs are better than cats
[ ] its hilarious when people get hurt
[X]you've played with boys on a team
[ ] shopping is torture
[ ] sad movies suck
[X] you own a XBOX(360)
[ ] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] at some point in your life you wanted to be a firefighter
[X] you own a DS PS2 or SEGA
[ ] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[X] you watch sports on TV
[ ] gory movies are cool
[X]sometimes you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[X] you used to/do collect pokemon
[ ] baggy sweat pants are nice to wear
[X] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[X] green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.
[X] sports are fun
[X] you sometimes talk with food in your mouth
[ ] you sleep at night with your socks on
[ ] you have fished at least once

TOTAL= 13



MY GIRL SIDE

[X] you like to shop
[X] you wear eyeliner (OMFG xD)
[X] you wear the color pink
[X] sometimes you go to your mum for advice
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing all black
[X] you like going to the mall
[X] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[X] you like wearing jewellery
[ ] you cried watching The Notebook
[ ] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[X] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[X] you've seen Star Wars and don''t like some of it
[ ] you do/did gymnastics
[X] it takes you one hour to get shower and dressed
[X] you smile a lot more than you should
[X] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[X] you care about what you look like majority of the time
[X] you like wearing dresses whenever you can
[X] you like dancing/do dancing
[X] you like high heel shoes
[X] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[ ] you like putting makeup on others
[X] you like being the star of almost everything
[X] pink is one of your favorite colors

TOTAL= 19



Now multiply by 4 to get your percentage
Boyish: 13 x 4 = 52%
Girlish: 19 x 4 = 76%

Then repost this as, 76% boyish, 48% girlish.

76% + 52% = 128%
eh?I think i may be too manly..

my very boring but heartfelt thoughts..

i only blog when i feel really bored..
now i really am..
i'm quite sianx of my A level results..
could have scored better for Math..
it would then not make my result slip so ugly..
but i unexpectedly got an A for the subject
tt i din't study too hard for,
and most disliked among the rest..
leo did super well for his A's this time..
nearly got straight As..4 pretty distinctions..
like 2/3rd of the class..
some of my classmates did really well too..
some did expectedly average, others did unexpectedly bad..
no matter wat, i wish all my friends,
all the best in their future path, studies and career..
everyone will end up heading for different directions,
not the same as pri sch, sec sch and jc..
i can no longer follow the flow..
i'll be making this decision of my life
tt brings me to whoever i'll be 10yrs, 20yrs later..
working life is only abt 5yrs away..
our exact working life is abt a period of 20-30 years
in the pursuit of all the different things
each and everyone of us yearn for..

i yearn to become a psychiatrist or a psychologist..
frankly i dunno if i'm really up to this job..
yet i know tt i just have this indescribable but deep
interest and passion
towards this field of career..
really wanna excel in this field..

i've always been interested in how ppl think and respond
ever since i dunno when..
it's like subconsciously
always thinking abt how different human brains work..
how to influence ppl to think certain way..
how to strengthen somebody's mindset..
what everybody going thru different things
require and need the most at their very crucial moment..
i'm a very 'personal' kinda person..
as in not really those 'political sci'/'society' kind of person
who thinks of the big picture,
who thinks of how the society respond as one unit,
or the outcome when different parts of the society
respond in different manner..

so hereby i sorta conclude tt psychology is the one for me..
i've also been thinking of other possibilities
if i'm not eligible to enter this course..
when ppl ask me abt my alternatives,
i always have nothing to say..
i will not deliberately think abt it..
yet, at the back of my mind,
i kinda know wat else i can do for my future..

i could become a musician..
i can choose to continue to further and sharpen my skills for erhu/gaohu
and attain higher grades/even diploma
to be eligible to enter a professional orchestra..
i noe i'm blessed with a sharper sensitivity, deeper passion
and stronger learning ability for music..
i hope i can further my skills in this field
no matter what career i commit myself into in the future..
yet, i know all these can only be fulfilled in reality
when i have the financial ability in the first place,
to be able to support myself without burdening my family anymore,
after settling all my debts and having all the time to devote to the things i love..
oh yea, i read tt striking a balance
btwn career and family and friends is super duper important
to attain an enjoyable and relatively better life..

i was also considering part time jobs
btwn a small biz and even writing..
i have a little bit bit of talent in designs and arts..
was thinking of making simple but
creative and attractive products for sales..
maybe online or just a small shop..
all these can earn me a little bit bit more of money..
was in the publicity committee in rv student council..
the experience there probably gave me some idea how marketing
and advertising can be done..
capital and budget are important elements to consider in biz also..

on the other hand,
i also realised my interest for penning down my thoughts and my life,
after i started this blog..
i noticed i can write alot alot alot of crap..
all these crap can be converted into meaningful and deep words
if i'm able to further my language and mature my tots more..
i enjoy reading and thinking thru non-fiction articles and reviews..
partially, it's because i love to explore ppl's mind,
now tt i'm starting with mine..xD..

however, i rmb comments and opinions
from friends like beiru and xiuru,
stating their strong feeling tt
i won't be able to make a good psychologist/counsellor..
i've always had this prob of being too emotional..
i had very bad problem controlling my temper and emotions..
i cry and lose my temper very easily..
i truly agree to their views..
but i believe all these can be improved on
with very strong determination and perseverance..
sound very cliche yea?but who can disagree with it?
it's easier said than done i know..
but after overcoming some of my shortcomings in basketball,
i really believe that such emotional odds can be conquered,
mainly with the abovementioned qualities..

now, back to present..
i can officially stop fasting on seafood and egg alrd!xD
will be joining my colleagues at work on monday..
taking leave on tue for my darling's POP ceremony..
really wanna stand up strong again to face reality
as an independent individual..
gonna continue to be hardworking at work and impress my superiors again..

miss that feeling of being a strong-minded ger..
jiayou ziwei!
jiayou darling leonard for the remaining 1.75years of ns!!

~Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication..~

~Love you baby with our connected heart and soul..<3~

i believe in luck sometimes..

i could have gone to work today..

really intended to go to work today..

wanna make up for the income losses of last wk..

yet, i woke up with a big red left sore eye this morning at 6am..

even earlier than the time i normally wake up for work at 6.40am..

i was super energetic for the nxt two hours,

talking to leo, kajiaoing my sister, listening to grandma's complaints..

den i fell aslp again, hoping tt my sore eye goes away in the afternoon

so tt maybe i get to get out of the house, for kbox or some sort..

the 3-hour-slumber proved my belief wrong,

tt slp can't work wonders anymore..

however, in this 3 hours of slp, i had 3 weird dreams..

really really weird..

was talking to leo on the phone just now,

he tot i am weird too..haha..

not gng to mention the dreams in details..

but yeaa i'm so gonna take up psychology in university

(if my results this friday can make me smile)

wanna learn how to decipher dreams

(tho its not my utmost reason)..

oh yea..

i just soft-rebonded my hair ytd..

i tot it'll look natural to soft-rebond..

but it's still very very straight..zzz..

but i think i look better with it

compared to my golden lion mane b4..

haix..i gotta fast for one week..

cannot eat seafood, prawns, cuttlefish, eggs and

can't take cold drinks for a the nxt 4-5days..

to prevent infection..

damn sianx..

leo have been very strict on me..

can't drink ice milo,

can't eat ben&jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream..

zzz..its a torture leh..haix..

now i'm stuck at home..

can't report to work,

can't eat anything i like,

can't go out since all my friends are not free..

now i'm blogging this relatively long entry,

i dunno wat for..

just plain boredom..

why is my life so boring at this point of time..

i'm debatably looking forward to uni life..

wanna know more friends..

i know i have serious character problem..

probably its the prob of having too much opinions and attitude..

i don't really have close friends..

some potential close friends are not really who i expect them to be..

i find myself pitiable..

probably because i expect my outgoing extrovertic character

to bring me true friends..

i'm wrong..

some ppl envy ppl with strong relationships..

but i envy ppl who have true best friend(s)..

i learn tt i gotta gain some precious things

at the expense of other valuable ones..

but no matter wat,

i'm glad tt i have leonard ma..

i have everything actually..

just realise my above para is ironic..

paradox of the world..

i gonna have my lunch now..

jioing ppl to go kbox at the same time..

zzz..

~i caught me smiling to myself just now<3,>

den i realised i was thinking of you..xD~