xD..

i just wanna say a very big thank you to those friends who've been concerned for me during my most difficult times..for those friends whom i don't really know very well, but still encouraged me to be strong, i also appreciate ur love and care alot..tho few words of encouragement may not be significant to others, but all of them, every single one of them mean alot alot to me..xD..altho i only underwent a small op, it's still my first op..sorry if i worry u guys about my condition if i made it exaggerated..i really tot it was very serious..just tt i was super emo those times..hate to have my health to be in tt state then..tt's why din't write/talk much abt it..so don't worry man..xD..

i'm all well and jumping and kicking again..lol..to make it clear so tt ppl don't misunderstand or read too much into my words: there were just some harmless things tt grew in some female organ..din't talk and don't plan to talk much in details abt it to anyone cuz i think such disease/illness is personal..don't like to mention and be reminded tt i've unhealthy body history..so i won't bring this topic up again..so my dear friends, don't worry abt me..i can go out and have outings with u guys alrd..

THANK YOU LOVELIES..XD..

I hereby wanna thank these closer friends personally..for their encouragement and mental support..medalene, xuewei, xiuru, vanessa, tessa, beiru, zhihan, chunyi, ray..oh yea and suhua, ngee hwee and suwan for making me feel tt the world is not really becoming dull and selfish cuz tho u guys ain't really close to me at all but still cared for me during my down times..

more importantly, i wanna thank God for blessing me with my very supportive and thoughtful family and family-members-to-be..xP..i'm really lucky to have my mummy, li, jun, leo and leo's mum to listen to my complaints abt discomfort and pain..

now that things are fine again..moving on again..i'll ensure tt i protect my health and body better than b4..hopefully such an illness won't look me up again..

now this is specially for my baby boyfriend, leon..

baby..really thank you for staying by my side this wknd..

i really have faith in our relationship aft i've 'survived' this 'crisis' rather literally painlessly with ur overwhleming support..i know there'll still be more challenges ahead during the upcoming different stages of our lives..like ur remaining 1 yr and 9months more of ns, when i enter uni, when u enter uni, when i enter the real working society and subsequently when u do..altho my mum always reminds me that everything is possible, and i don't deny, right now and forever, i'll only wanna hold on tight to this love with you..i'm personally certain tt even after this honeymoon year, our love will still burn strongly, if not stronger..this is the first time both of us are so serious into our other half..and tt our families get along really well..shortcoming is tt we're still not tt mature to be independent and strong-minded adults, so lets learn from mistakes, parents, friends, family and each other while we walk this tedious but enjoyable path of reality and life together..feel as tho i'm writing a short GP/History essay alrd..lol..but overall, i wanna say: when i love you baby, all my saved-up wishes start coming true..MWACKX!!

gonna rest and have dinner alrd..feel free to contact me for outings this coming week!i'm not gng to work!look forward to release of A level results..

~Shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow..<3~

scared..

dunno if i'm looking forward to tmr..

can't wait for leo to return but on the other hand scared of... ...

can't wait for everything to be over..

~love you baby..love ur super sudden but positive change in attitude towards me..

mwackx!~

bored..

i took a day off work today cuz caught a super bad cold ytd after being caught in the heavy afternoon downpour which i think travelled all the way from tekong to jurong..

took a half day off ytd too cuz was feeling completely unwell..

will be taking another wk off nxt wk for rest..hope i can recover faster..

bored at home..i should be changing Kilo's cage now..must keep my baby's home clean..

but stuck at the com..lazy to move..

was looking thru facebook just now..feel bored..so will do some quizzes to pass my time..

i've no appetite for anything now..feel like missing lunch..

will be gng out with xiuru van and xuewei later to vivo for a get-tgt-session..

hopefully my body feels better later..

Read meda's note on facebook..quite interesting..wonder wat my ans will be..lol..

like doing such quizzes actually..

Copy and paste and put your own answers in. The purpose of this is to get to know your friends better and it's so much fun!

Here are the rules - post this list on your profile (in Notes) replacing my answers with yours. (You can add the notes tab to your profile page!). Tag 25 people to do the same thing.

If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
an old female singer..

ziweigege only appeared when i was in P5..

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
last week

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
yes..it represents my character and mood actuallly..

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL?
dimsum lunch at some high class restaurant with leo and family

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
not really..

but i'm the mama of Kilo Ma..our baby hamster..<3

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes ofkox..

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
i'm more direct than sarcastic actually..

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
huh..yes..

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
nope..i'm timid..

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
cornflakes..preferably with real fruits..and strawberry milk!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
depends on how tight i tie them when i put them on la..

diao..

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
frolick peach-flavoured yogurt ice cream..

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

face..eyes specifically.. 

15. RED OR PINK?
red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
my tummy..zzz..

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
my deceased grandparents..

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
er.. watever..

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
black pants..no shoes..

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the rain..

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
black/silver..

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
smell of leo's shirts..

i'm not sick..bleah..

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
leonard ma..

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
pool and basketball..

27. HAIR COLOR?
brownish red..

28. EYE COLOR?
black..

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
yea..

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
manhattan fish market seafood feast!

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
happy endings..

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
underworld: rise of the lycans

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
pink sajc saint shirt

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
hugs and kisses concurrently..xP

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO?
watever i feel strongly about..

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
i dunno..

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
not reading.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
pics of winnie the pooh and friends..

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
campus superstar result show

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
leo's cute voice..

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
sadly, genting..

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
i suppose i'm somewhat allrounded but can't do super good in all aspects..

46 WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
KKH

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Leo..

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
basketball..<3<3

~hungry..miss our super good vday dinner..<3~

afraid..but i must pick myself up..

can't wait for this wknd to come..wanna get it over and done with..

enuf of the torture..enuf of the stress..

i wanna go back to my normal life..

changes will be seen..no matter you like it or not baby..

you will stay with me forever..

things are gonna be more tough as time passes..

i'm still gonna be myself..maybe change slightly for the better..

**Love is not blind, it sees more not less;

But because it sees more it chooses to see less.<3**

~~you're mine..love you always..x)

shattered heart..x(

slowly recovering from depression..

relearning wat's being strong again..

but i can't take this alone..

strong doesn't necessarily mean independent..

i still need my pillar..still need you so so much..

hmm..seems like i don't actually have a choice in the first place..

see how things turn out to be..

i'll pray for the best ending for it..

~tears and heartbreak, i love you so much..~

~mwack mwack mwackx.....~

confused and disappointed..

i love you..

i love myself..

i love my family..

i love my friends..

i love to think abt my bright future which i'll work hard towards..

i love you with all my heart too..

i choose to trust and have faith in this, in you, in me, in God..

Sry if i have to be selfish..it hurts too..

no matter wat, you will stay with me forever..

you mean so much..

haix..i'll cry forever..

i love you always, my angels..

nostalgia... ...

by right i shld be preparing to go out to fetch leo now..

suddenly i just feel like blogging out of the blue..was too tired to blog ytd night..

today is the first day of the week i get to sleep until 9.30am..these few weekdays i've been waking up at abt 6.30am for work..zzz..ytd i finished all my workload and was left with abt 2 hours of free slacking time..when i handed my completed task back to jourdan, he was super stunned and asked me in disbelief: you sure u completed them??so fast!

haha..think i'm like too efficient at work for the first few weeks le..dunno if i shld carry on with this or not..cux if i continue completing all my tasks at such speed, they'll have high expectation of me in the future and entrust me with more tedious workload..data entry is ez and brainless la..seriously..wat makes it tedious is only the amount of data i can key in in abt 8hours a day??

ytd i had been looking thru some photos on facebook..some pics taken during last year's grps gathering at mrs josephine tan's condo..i was nvr taught by her b4..tt's why i tot it'd not be nice if i turn up..but i realised many ppl who were not taught by her b4 also turned up for the gathering..wat i pity i missed this chance to meet up with those ppl whom i've not catch up with since the last era..zzz..i miss valerie, huiping, marcus, zhihong, sinyee, susan, yiqi, jordan, kaibin, cecilia, blah blah blah..i also realised tt i totally forgot abt some guys who were in my class..like gary and weeteck..haha..guess they'll find it cool if they ever happen to come across this random blog of mine and see their names here..lol..was chatting with valerie ytd night..was trying to find some time out with her to ball..she's the cap of rjc bball gers team..tt of scgs bball team too..haven't played bball with gers for a very very long time since nationals ended..pathetic..zzz..always at the disadvantage when balling with guys..hopefully i can turn up for the nxt gathering organised mayb at the end of 2009??tt's when i'm turning 20 alrd..sigh..

anw i went online for 2hours ytd and was super tempted to get a citibank student credit card, called the clear card..was chatting with xiaodi(ray) online and he was also interested in getting one too..haha..still pondering..

gonna prepare to go out to fetch darling alrd..yay!!xD..

tired..again..

don't really feel like blogging..but since, i'm here......

i just cooked some egg for breakfast tmr..add mayo it..it's gonna be fattening but nice..it's my first time cooking mayo egg actually..lol..successful tho..

here again, i wanna talk abt work..i revolve around work, tuition and forever looking forward to fridays and weekends now..finished all my workload today in the morning..helped jourdan, my superior, do some filing, which i dreaded most..after tt was slacking, cleaning my lockers, table and planning my expenditure for the nxt two weeks after getting my pay..after tt, i asked for 'trouble' myself, requesting for more tasks to be distributed to me..den, jourdan gave me one huge stack of A3 sized data for me to key..zzz...how smart right..anw i think jourdan's got nice voice..xP..random..he gave me a gentlemanly feeling but he's actually quite merciless..as in don't get me wrong, baby..haha..he's alrd a married Indonesian man in his 30s..feel tt he's one of the nicest colleagues there..the other one is josephine..another married lady who looks under-aged..sigh..

anw b4 i sign off, wanna talk abt an article on wobao i read today..almost every page has an article on the global malaise nowadays..yet, this very casual but talented freelance writer caught my attention with her article..talking abt some undiscovered and unnoticed advantages brought to families' and ppl's lives by this economic downturn..don't really rmb her name, but she mentioned how this crisis has brought family members closer and allowed ppl to raise their awareness of how enjoyable it is to just simply spend precious moments with their family tgt..she also mentioned, such an economy ushers in the era where ppl should start to divert their attention towards seeking for the other 5Cs, maybe compassion, charity, confidence, contentment and celebration, rather than condo, cash, career, car, country club..indeed very true..i was touched by this article..not really good at describing how well she wrote it but yea just totally agree with her..hmm..i grow up le..i realise..starting to have more opinions towards global affairs le..even enjoy reading newspapers in the morning..lol..things will change tho..better, probably..xD..

i miss leo so much..gotta kun soon le..looking forward to weekend as usual..gonna gym, swim, ball and maybe pool..will do a few hundred situps and krunches b4 slping..love you baby..

tired..

hmm..i feel as tho i've put this same/similar title for some previous entries..

indeed, i'm very tired of work and the mundane routine every weekday..altho i get to earn money, i always always look forward to weekends..today made some stupid mistakes at work, din't save the document which i spent the whole 4 hours in the morning doing, end up gotta do it all over again..zzz..

today is the second day of work and leonardless this week..it's also the busiest day of work so far..never get to slack at all..even forgot to reply my darling..sorry baby..went tuition after work today..was caught in the stupid traffic jam, therefore stuck on the bus for 1hr b4 reaching my tutee's place..i've officially handed one of my tutees to xuewei..now it should be less strenuous for me alrd..she also mentions tt cp's getting more vocal and comfortable with her..glad..thanks alot for ur help xuewei!!xD..

hungry..only had 2 breads for dinner..somemore i had it on the 1-hour bus ride..sigh..gotta grab some night snacks!

miss you alot alot baby..i love you forever..

we can go thru all these tgt..mwackx!!

blank..slightly stressed..

haven't been blogging for quite a few days..

new year was alright..not like usual..cuz spent most of it with leo as chu 1 clashes with our 9th month anniversary..xD..enjoyed those 2 days with him..got quite alot of angpaos, but also spent quite alot of it on our 9th month anniversary present..truly enjoyed it..my baby also spent quite alot of his first pay..tt led to us having to spend a budget weekend at ridgewood, balling, eating the super super yummy prawns tt doug caught, pooling with doug and laoda and watching tv at leo's place..din't really do much but this weekend is still as enjoyable..embracing simplicity occasionallly is meaningful and precious actually..escapade from the rapid-paced and wallet-draining lifestyle now..striking a balance in life feels great but it's not ez..

work is getting a little less slack..it's my first time doing overtime today..OT pay is like abt 10bucks per hour, so why not..shifted my tuition to tmr as i wanted to slp early today..also plan to prepare my own lunch for tmr tonight..don't really enjoy lunch from my co.'s inhouse canteen tho it's cheap and the vendors are generous..quite afraid of eatin food from there cuz had abt a few days of diarrhoea after eating there during the first week of work..today i also learnt smth new at work..i learnt to make purchase orders LIVE..means tt any mistake would cause tricky problems for even the boss to solve..i'm like slowly getting use of working life, tho this morning i nearly pon-ed work..but was drawn out of bed by the strong desire to earn as much money as possible for this week to make up for the income loss during the cny..i'm also starting to decorate my own table in the office, trying to make it more homely so tt i won't dread gng to work everyday..it still looks very empty now tho..except tt there's this cute pencil holder which jiayi, my fellow 17janner, gave me for bday a couple of years ago..miss close-knittedness of 4g so so much..(>.<)..

just spoke to leo on the phone..today is the first day of the long 5 weekdays of work ALONE..no leonard..sigh..can't wait for 14feb to come..sure chop chop gonna enjoy ourselves alot again..looking forward to it baby..mwackx..

gonna cook my lunch for tmr alrd..JIAYOU ZIWEI!!JIAOU LAOGONG!!

we'll survive this long but fast 5 days well..wo ai ni..xD..